After a week-long trip to a resort in Mexico, I made a few observations about my fellow tourists, and learned some lessons that I think others should reflect on before hitting the beach or traveling.
1. If your girlfriend is passed out on the floor, don’t guzzle your wine while two other men attend to her.
2. Male belly button rings are never acceptable.
3. Buying cigars could result in a drug deal.
4. Breast feeding a child the same size as you while on the beach is not OK.
5. Don’t play in the pool with your father the same way would play in the pool with your boyfriend.
6. You should buy a new bathing suit if you have to decide between your butt crack or butt checks showing.
7. Incredibly tiny string bikini, with a belly button ring of a cross, does not make you a good girl.
8. A female should not be topless in the middle of the beach having a conversation with either her father or brother.
9. It is not cute for male partners to wear matching bathing suits where one is a Speedo and the other is briefs.