Things We’re Tyrannical About – May 2011

by Kristy and Kristen

Kristy is Tyrannical About:

1. Pig-themed pub nights: Whether drinking Sow’s Ear wine from Brooksville, ME or Porkslap beer, the best pub game has to be Pass the Pigs.  The dice are 2 pigs, and the goal is to get your roll just right so the pigs land in compromising positions (each with different point values).  Endless fun.

Go ahead, put a BIRD on it, Portland!

2. Portlandia.  There are far too few of these hilarious shows on IFC right now. I want more.  And everywhere I go, I just want to PUT A BIRD ON IT. (This is also a great replacement for those sorely missing Flight of the Concords, like I am.)

3. The Three Cups of Tea controversy.  It started with a 60-minutes expose (and yes, I DVR this show, can’t get enough Andy Rooney – Kristen does the best impression of him, BTW), followed by Krakauer’s ‘brochure’ on the new byliner website, and Mortenson’s friend Kristof’s NYTimes opinion piece defending him.  As someone who relished this book, supported the cause, and spread the word on both, I must get to the bottom of this – what are the accusations and are they worth getting so upset that I donate my book to charity and ignore Pennies for Peace?

Update: the lawsuit

 

Who Drives This Car? (#5)

by Kristy and Kristen

Who Drives This Car?

1) lady pondering whether she’s an acid or an alkaline

2) a woman who is proud that her deodorant is strong enough for a man, but pH balanced just for her

3) blonde doctor who forgot the “D” on the end (<– posted by Kristen, and it is okay because she is a fake blonde)

 

Axe-murderers, Bad Art, and Old Beer

by Kristy and Kristen

We make good travel partners because we both like to (lightly) research weird things to do and then commit to them 100%. Inspired by the oddities of New England, we recently planned and executed a day trip that began in Fall River and ended in Boston.  Here were our picks:

If the tour leaves you wanting more, book a room!

1. Lizzie Borden House, Fall River 
Fall River, Massachusetts, is a depressed factory town with a telling motto of “We’ll Try,” although it honestly doesn’t feel like anyone has in quite some time. It is most famous for the 1892 murders of Andrew and Abby Borden, of the kid-friendly jump rope rhyme, “Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one.” We took a tour of Lizzie’s home, led by what appeared to be a 16-year old girl with a heavy Boston accent and a to-go cup of soda she never put down. Don’t judge her! She is incredibly well informed on the history and mysteries surrounding the murders, and she is working on her mortician certification. So, we guess that answers the question of whether working at such a place leads one to odd life choices. During the tour we were encouraged to recreate the death scene in the living room, and to guess whether Lizzie really was the murderer.  If you haven’t had enough of the Borden saga, you can spend the night at the B&B, visit the cemetery where the Bordens are buried, or try to gain entrance to the historical society which contains many Borden-related relics.

Yes, this art is at the entrance to the loo.

2. Museum of Bad Art, Dedham and Somerville 
The Museum of Bad Art, or MOBA, asks tough questions such as “Are those ice creams or mountains?” and “What would Mary Todd Lincoln look like with poinsettias on her head?” We visited the Dedham location, which is next to the men’s bathroom in a local theater (the website claims, “the nearby flushing helps maintain a uniform humidity”). Whoever wrote the captions to the found and donated pieces in the collection deserves a Pulitzer.

 

Things We’re Tyrannical About – April 2011

By Kristy and Kristen

Kristen is Tyrannical about:

1. Amazon’s 100 Albums for $5 in April
My favorite way of replacing missing albums in my music collection is by keeping an eye on Amazon’s MP3 Downloads. I check the digital deal of the day regularly, but for the last couple months the 100 albums have been lame. But April? The Cars, Beastie Boys, Queen, The Ramones, Patsy Cline, Smashing Pumpkins, Pat Benatar! And I seriously almost repurchased CooleyHighHarmony.

2. The Society of Arts in Crafts
Located on Newbury Street in Boston, this non-profit organization recognizes craft artists with a retail store and exhibition gallery. One of my good friends, Katie Glusica, was featured in the gallery exhibit, “The Loom: on, around, & through,” which ends this month. Even if you miss Katie, there are a lot of interesting crafts and educational possibilities going on with the organization. With metalwork, fibers, jewelry, glass, and ceramics, there is something for everyone to admire.

 

Boy Scout Merit Badges that We Want to Earn

by Kristy and Kristen

The original Boy Scout Manual was published in 1911 and can be found on Project Gutenberg (a great resource for free e-books).  Therefore, this year, 2011, is the 100^th anniversary of this useful tome for boys.  While Kristen and I were never permitted to join the Boy Scouts (wrong anatomy), and having realized that the Girl Scouts were a poor substitute, we now have prepared our lists of Boy Scout skills and merit badges we hope to obtain in our 30s.

Five Boy Scout Merit Badges that Kristen would like to earn:

1. Dentistry
Requirements for this badge include using an x-ray (sounds safe for kids!) and showing on a drawing where bacterial plaque can be found (sounds glamorous!). Plus then I can skip medical school to say, “You can trust me, I’m a doctor. Well, dentist. Well, actually I have a merit badge. Please trust me.”

2. Environmental Science
I have worked in this field for 10 years and I find the requirements for this badge insulting. One of the options for an outdoor study is literally an experiment I ran last summer. I think they should give these kids an Bachelor’s of Science because they’ll be just as qualified as I am to join the workforce. Or they should give me a merit badge. I’ll settle for either of those options.

3. Home Repairs
Not only do I believe we should be putting the children to work, I  would like to learn and successfully badge in waterproofing a basement. There are numerous times in my life that I wish I had the home repair skills this program teaches. Also, if I can’t learn how to install insulation in a

 

Set Pieces from the ’90s

by Kristy & Kristen

Some ’90s TV shows are so ingrained in us that it would only take one set piece to get the memories flowing back. If you sing “Night and Day” every time you come down a big staircase, hear snapping whenever you see a red curtain, or get the giggles every time someone tries to talk to you over a fence, you might find these images memorable, too.

1. Roseanne’s Afghan

2. Seinfeld’s Bike

 

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Confusing Signs

by Kristy and Kristen

1) Utilikilts are very utilitarian, manly kilts.  And if you thought otherwise, let this poster inform you:

2) Kilts are also apparently art-worthy:

 

Top Things NOT to Purchase from Skymall

By Kristy and Kristen

Kristy’s Picks:

1. Tranquil Sounds Oxygen Bar, $299.99
This woman does not look tranquil, nor does she appear to be enjoying any sort of ‘bar’.  Maybe someone should give her the polite tip that oxygen is available for free in our atmosphere, which is all around her.  This product is also a great example of pseudo-scientific claims being used to sell products.  Case in point “Work, stress, drinking and environmental factors deplete our oxygen and affect our health.”  Absolute rubbish.

2. Wine and Liquor Accelerator, $59.99
If you were excited like me, you may have thought that this amazing product would do for 1 glass of wine what 2 glasses of wine can do (and half the calories!).  Alas, this is just a crappy way to ‘age’ your wine.  This product features “Neodymium (definitely made-up word) magnets”.

 

Things We’re Tyrannical About – March 2011

Kristy is Tyrannical about:
1. Reading about Hawaii. Sarah Vowell has a new book, and many friends have recommended Maui Revealed…A travel list is being prepared for my June trip, of course.

2. Survivorman. While I don’t expect to find myself in one of his harrowing situations, I enjoy learning how to avoid hypothermia and make a slingshot in the boreal forests.

3. The merger of Newsweek and The Daily Beast. (I may become a Newsweek subscriber now that Tina Brown has taken over).  The Daily Beast has some great lists, too.  http://www.thedailybeast.com/

4. Helping out by donating to Japan (SEE SEPARATE list of how you can help, below).  And following the uprisings in the Middle East, Especially via The Guardian’s interactive map:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/interactive/2011/feb/17/arab-world-protests-bahrain-map

5. Stocking the bar with Pisco – I’m on the hunt for a great bottle, so if you have suggestions let me know!  A great bar should always be stocked with a list of necessities…like Pisco and interesting bitters.

 

Not your Mother’s Nacho

Dinner By Kristy, Cocktails by Kristen

If you cook for yourself often, the end of the week will bring stacks of leftovers, just waiting to be re-appropriated for another dish.  Pizzas, stir-fry’s, salads and sandwiches are great ways to use up random leftovers, but our favorite way is a big plate of messy Nachos.

Here are our favorite toppings (feel free to mix and match):

1. Salsas: spicy bean salsa, mango salsa, fresh salsa, salsa verde, homemade heirloom tomato salsa with herbs from the garden, whatever you have in the pantry

2. Cheese: Queso Fresco, Grilled Haloumi, mixed shredded cheeses, fresh mozzarella, smoked gouda, any mixture as long as it melts (this means no soy!)

3. Meats/proteins: bits of pork loin, buffalo steak, or any meat you’ve cooked in a delicious sauce the night before; canned beans, tofu/tempeh (as long as its been drenched in spices/flavors)

4. Onions: Carmelized in beer, pickled, onion substitutes (shallot, scallion, leek)

5. Veggies: canned artichoke hearts, roasted red peppers, spinach, stir-fried peppers & onions, olives, pickled vegetables (like asparagus, beans, carrots), hearts of palm, fresh tomato, any variety of hot peppers